Kings at Blues: The Dumpster Fire Burns Bright

Hi, I’m Diane, and I’ll be your disaster reporter for this game. I’ve tried to lessen the pain here with cute animals, but I think it might be a lost cause.

After losing the first three games on this road trip, it wasn’t looking good for the Kings to say the least. On the other hand, their last game against the Blackhawks was their strongest as of late, despite the loss, so it was (sort of) reasonable to believe that the Kings could shake themselves of this funk, and bounce back. Yeah, that didn’t happen.

The Kings’ started the game looking like a team that wanted at least one win on this trip, but that lasted all of 2 minutes until they were called for a high-sticking double minor. “A penalty against the Kings to start the game off? You don’t say!”

The Blues took full advantage, and on the first Blues shot, Brendan Morrow scores one on Martin Jones. Overall though, the Kings played alright during the first. They didn’t take any more penalties after that disastrous double, and the didn’t allow any more goals. Fine, we can all hope that the game shifts and the Kings do what they’ve done for a while now: beat the Blues.

Just kidding! Looks like this terribleness is going to persist. Here’s a pretty decent visual representation of the Kings’ game during the 2nd period.

They started the 2nd like they started the first, on the PK, 24 seconds in. While they were able to kill that one, their second penalty kill didn’t fare so well as TJ Oshie knocked another goal past Martin Jones. Jones was then pulled to try to get some life back in the Kings but to no avail. It’s a pattern: the Blues score on the first shot that Ben Scrivens faced, another by TJ Oshie.

YOU BETTER DO THIS IN THE OLYMPICS YOU ROSY CHEEKED FUCK FACE

— Brigitte Lynne (@OneGirlOnePuck) January 3, 2014

My thoughts exactly.  

The Kings had a chance near the end of the period to get something going with a 5-on-3 powerplay, but it didn’t work out quite as they had hoped.  

Blues kill off the 5-on-3, draw a standing ovation. Kings not an opportunistic bunch at the moment. — Jon Rosen (@lakingsinsider) January 3, 2014

Truer words have never been spoken.

Third verse, same as the first and second, the Kings start the period on the penalty kill. While this one didn’t cost them a goal, it’s damn tiring constantly being on the PK. The Kings just couldn’t seem to get anything to work: passes, rushes, plays, basic “not falling down constantly” maneuvers.

The Los Angeles Kings’ current skating skill set.

All thoughts of a comeback are dashed, as the Kings let in 2 more goals, and the Blues get the shut out and are smugly happy which infuriates me. What’s worse is that it’s not like the Kings didn’t have a chance.

Kings Corsi over 5 game losing streak: 59%. PDO: 922. EV Sv% .903. EV SH% 1.9%. #tradeeverybody

— Robert P. (@RobertJFTC) January 3, 2014

The Kings continue to post fantastic possession numbers, but cannot seem to capitalize or buy a goal for anything.

Here, have the puck! THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE GONNA DO WITH IT????

This game marks the 5th straight game the Kings have lost, with 5 goals scored against them, including the first goal of the season for #5 Barret Jackman, thus ending the Kings’ 5 game winning streak against the Blues during the regular season. Am I suspicious of the number 5 now? Oh you bet, I’m just grasping at straws now.